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MonstersâLive Or Die With Them
More than likely you have a couple of Monsters in your life. The type of Monsters I’m referring to reside within your inner circle (giving you no line of defense) and they are purposefully removing the very essence that makes you human.
Because I was born on Halloween, I’ve been destined to aid souls in escaping the death grip of their Monsters . . . which is a major part of what I’ve done with the last 30+ years of my life as a spiritual healer. With that, let’s begin identifying your Monsters with the kind of clarity and purpose that can lead you to the kind of decisions and actions that will forever change your life. As a warrior priest, I wish to sweep in and rescue you from your Monsters with the sword of Awareness.
Vampires
Vampires suck your life force. The only true test of a Vampire is this: when you desperately need their help—when you feel like you may be dying—they desert you to suck the life out of someone else. If the Vampire is someone you love, his or her selfish actions are a betrayal. Vampires can infiltrate nearly any form of relationship. A Vampire never leaves you in better condition than when they found you. If they reveal a kindness, it is only to get you in closer for a more comfortable meal.
We feed off of each other. We really do. We are social creatures and we exchange our energies (body, mind and soul). I could even argue that the definition of life can be contained in four words: the exchange of energies. In relationships, there must be some balance in the exchange. Vampires never give. A Vampire remains empty, no matter How Much they feed.
Werewolves
A Werewolf, without warning, and with some consistency, rips you apart. They always tear away chunks of your spirit and mind (emotional stability), but they are also often physically violent. A Werewolf attacks your character: a foundational and very tender organ.
Who consistently attacks you and never accepts full responsibility for those attacks? A Werewolf simply states that it’s just the way they are, or they got it from their father, or they simply cannot handle a certain type of life event. A Werewolf's character is formed around excuses and they feed off fear. They may be sorry, but never repentant because they see themselves as the victims. Werewolves spend about 99% of the time being wonderful human beings to compensate for their behaviors, or in other words, to tenderize you for another attack.
Ghosts
There is an obvious violence inherent in Vampires and Werewolves, but Ghosts are violent in a different form: they steal the years of your life. Who is regularly in your physical presence but is never really there? Ghosts use you as an anchor into the material world, to make themselves feel real. If you react to a Ghost, then they feel alive.
Ghosts are usually shy, only have a couple of close relationships, and often could be classified as the classic Couch Potato. You cannot penetrate beyond a Ghost’s physical apparition. You can't see anything but Your Own reflection in their eyes. Your direct, heartfelt queries leave you with nothing but polite, stay-the-course, you're-imagining-things answers. While you are in the physical presence of a Ghost you are alone.
A year, ten, Twenty Years can easily pass in the presence of a Ghost. It's all so peaceful. It's all so nice. There's no drama. There's no passion. It's darkness. It's death. If you live under the same roof as a Ghost, you will eventually cease to exist as well.
Frankenstein’s Monsters
The Frankenstein’s Monsters in your life will violently punish you if they interpret that you do not utterly love, understand and accept them exactly as they are. That " . . . love, understand and accept them exactly as they are," part sounds almost noble, but that is shredded by their intimidation and violence. A Werewolf may or may not require devotional reverence, but a Frankenstein’s Monster incessantly demands it.
Your Frankenstein’s Monsters are constantly monitoring not only your words and physical movements, but they are also attempting to interpret them. Of course, their fear of losing you taints their ability to perform accurate soothsaying functions. When you screw up with a Frankenstein’s Monster, you’ll probably have no idea what you did. Of course, these Monsters are not only possessive but also obsessive.
Frankenstein’s Monster was composed of various body parts from various corpses. What makes this Monster so repulsive is that they are actually trying to sew you into their own image.
Mummies
A Mummy demands that you share their every action, philosophy and mood. Think of the Mummy’s outstretched arms reaching for you, not so much to kill you in the conventional manner, but to destroy the you in you so you’re one with the Mummy. The Mummy lives in a location they want to lure you to, and then trap you within, for eternity. But, it’s not just you they wish to ensnare in their world, they wish to ensnare everyone. It’s as if they wish to draw us all into their pyramid and then magically command the sands to entomb us together.
Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts and Frankenstein’s Monsters all need hapless victims (non-Monsters) to survive. Mummies wish to convert all of us to Mummies. Mummies are usually formed around an addiction. Alcoholism is the most obvious example. Doesn’t an alcoholic want everyone to drink with them, exactly when they wish to drink? Doesn’t an alcoholic, when drinking, want everyone drunk? Mummies do not wish to stand out; they wish to be consumed by the cohesive ecstasy of a mob.
What To Do With Your Monsters
All Monsters tear at the fabric of humanity. For a Vampire, you must remove yourself as a liquid main course meal. For a Werewolf, you must move to a place outside the circle of violence and abuse and attempt to discover the location of their full moons. For a Ghost, you must banish them with the warm, throbbing light of living. For a Frankenstein’s Monster, you must separate yourself from their neurotic need at any cost. For a Mummy, you must never enter the cyclone of their addiction.
What do the above observations have in common? They all involve separation from your Monsters. How many Monsters have you converted back to the warmth of humanity in your lifetime? I know your answer to that question: none.
Your Monsters do not actually Love You. Ultimately, within every second of your interaction with a Monster it is ALL about them. It’s about their next meal, their next violent release, their next capture of your company, their next purchase of your approval, or their next complete control of your actions. It’s always about them.
You already know that two conversations with a hungry Vampire can keep you in bed for an entire day, distressing your entire world. You already know that a mauling by a Werewolf requires weeks, sometimes months, of recovery and the resulting scars limit your range of motion and eventually numb all of your senses. You already know that living with a Ghost steals away your ability to exist. You already know that you can never deliver what your Frankenstein’s Monster demands and you are thereby damned to eternal punishment. You already know that surrendering to your Mummy’s appetites will entomb both of you.
To all Monsters, you are ultimately a meal. You cannot sustain your life and satisfy a Monster. If you need to chew on that last sentence (truth), chew long and hard before swallowing; that truth can set you free.
If you are in a binding (in any manner) relationship with a bona fide Monster, I do not believe your relationship has much of a chance. You cannot be intimate with any form of Monster, and without intimacy there is no relationship. Intimacy is made of trust, mutual nourishment, and most importantly—honor.
Can a Monster be reformed? Maybe. But, it is rare. Part of the reason is that you tend to lose respect for your Monsters, harboring anger, pain and resentment, and this limits your resolve and vision. Secondly, a Monster must know they are a Monster and desperately want to change. Most Monsters think they are just fine, considering their own self-declared victimization. You see, in their Monster minds, the Universe justly owes them YOU for their consumption.
Am I aware that your Monsters are important if not integral to your life? And, that you love them dearly? My answer is, "Yes." The 30+ years I’ve spent in the trenches of humanity allow me to proclaim that there is nothing about your feelings, or the locations of your Monsters, that I haven’t seen before.
I don't tolerate Monsters anymore anywhere near the inner circle of my life. I looked very hard at the character of my Monsters and I never respected them. I never liked them. I have brought many new, vibrant, passionate, even radically eccentric people into my inner circle that I truly do respect. Many of these are feasting and party animals, but none are Monsters.
Can one Monster pull characteristics from more than one Monster archetype? Yes, but you’ll discover that every one of your Monsters is primarily composed of a single archetype.
But, why can’t you simply remove yourself from the Monster’s behaviors? I suppose it is possible, but all five versions will eventually punish you for what they deem as your selfish maneuvers.
You are not fast food, you are not a punching bag, you are not a silent lap dog bred to keep your master company, you are not spare parts to be used, you are not a brainless sidekick—you are an appendage of God. Dignity is your birthright.
Of course there are silver bullets, wooden stakes, exorcisms, fire etc., that can destroy Monsters, but I think there is little chance you wish to play God. So . . . on a dark night, approach your Monsters at a safe distance, Make Your observations, and then make some decisions. The next morning, under the light of day, turn your decisions into sustainable actions. As you wrestle with your decisions, please understand that divine love was never intended to sustain depletion or abuse. You may want to write this down somewhere to make your resolve quite sticky: Divine Love Was Never Intended To Sustain Depletion Or Abuse.
The subtitle of this article is Live Or Die With Them. More than likely you thought that those five words were a comical exaggeration—even after my dramatic first few sentences—and I hope you now realize they are not. Awareness is the first step to capturing a new life, and I hope we’ve already taken that first healing step together. You do not require my guidance for what comes next, you have probably been aware of what you must do for many months.
All of my work and teachings reside upon: What Heals You—Heals The World. For all of us, gather your faith and courage and take that next healing step right now.
Bradley Falk has recently released Guided Passage: Become Who You Are (a hardcover book and audio cd). Removing Monsters from your life is only one element of becoming who you are. To return to your true and powerful self, travel to www.BradleyFalk.com.
About the Author
Bradley Falk considers himself just a Swedish Minnesota farm boy born on Halloween into the Merlin archetype, at once both a common man and a man with a perspective from far beyond. In his words, “I am not ’the’ Merlin but ‘a’ Merlin, born with a servant’s heart, knowing exactly what is required for the healing in my times.†His clients say he has a gift for offering people an immense amount of safety which allows them to take his hand and be guided into their deepest pain, their most pressing uncertainty. “This pain,†according to Falk, “has become universal, a total lack of confidence felt all over the globe. I get people back to who they are. There is hope.†Visit www.BradleyFalk.com to learn more.
